Gentle Readers,

This morning I'm feeling old. Not mentally old as I'm still pretty much twelve but physically old. I was told that there comes a time in everyone's life when you can no longer eat whatever you want but I thought that was just a description of the metabolism slowing down.

This was wrong.

Last night I went out well past my bedtime (which is usually 9) and had some greasy pub food. It was called "The Threesome" and included spicy chicken wings, nachos and spinach dip. Later that night I threw up a little in my mouth and exercised a significant amount of willpower to keep everything down as I was in the car. The night before I ate way too many Cheetos and felt similarly although not quite as extremely disgusting.

I am too old to eat grease.

How did that happen?