failing from the brink of success
May. 29th, 2011 09:33 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
j_v_lynchGentle Readers,
So, After an incredible weekend of amazing weekend full of fantastic time and amazing people I'm now sitting here feeling upset and frustrated. Why? Because of my stupid lawn.
Our mower needs to be serviced before we can use it. For one reason or another this has not happened and now thanks to weeks of rain we now have a lawn that is over a foot high. Our mower, the beast that it is, would likely have little difficulty with it, but owing to the aforementioned lack of servicing, we can't use it.
Now, in general I do the mowing. I'm not a big fan of said mowing. Cortejo, on the other hand enjoys mowing the grass. She wants to do it. However, she can't start the mower. For some reason, the pull cord and her are a square peg and a round hole. Since I can start the mower I get to do it because starting the mower and then hanging on to the switch (because it's got some kind of a dead man auto stop thing) until she takes over is just a pain.
She has said that she would be willing to take over if we had a push mower. Last week, in desperation I called out to the multitudes to see if anyone would loan us a push mower. Lo and behold, our request was answered and we were loaned such a device by a friend. This evening, now that it has finally stopped raining, I think to myself, OK. I will mow the front lawn so that no one calls bylaw on us and it looks like someone actually lives in our house.
I wheel the mower out and down to the front. I give it a few pushes to make sure I'm going in the right direction and then off I go.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-JAM.
Me: Shove.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
I repeated this sequence to get to the other side of the lawn. Then I looked over the destruction I had left in my wake; Grass blades laid to waste. I had decimated the grass. I want to be clear that I am using this word in the biblical sense which is to say that in that first pass I managed to cut one blade in ten.
I continue for a half an hour, the amount of time it normally takes me to finish the entire thing. I've manage to cover less than half the front which is less than a quarter of the entire lawn. The part that I did do looks like my lawn has mange. It looks like a 2 year old's first self haircut.
I despair and grump inside to discover that the lights are off and no dinner was made.
As vengance against the vegetable kingdom, I have eaten an entire bag of carrots (this hurts me more than it hurts you).
So, After an incredible weekend of amazing weekend full of fantastic time and amazing people I'm now sitting here feeling upset and frustrated. Why? Because of my stupid lawn.
Our mower needs to be serviced before we can use it. For one reason or another this has not happened and now thanks to weeks of rain we now have a lawn that is over a foot high. Our mower, the beast that it is, would likely have little difficulty with it, but owing to the aforementioned lack of servicing, we can't use it.
Now, in general I do the mowing. I'm not a big fan of said mowing. Cortejo, on the other hand enjoys mowing the grass. She wants to do it. However, she can't start the mower. For some reason, the pull cord and her are a square peg and a round hole. Since I can start the mower I get to do it because starting the mower and then hanging on to the switch (because it's got some kind of a dead man auto stop thing) until she takes over is just a pain.
She has said that she would be willing to take over if we had a push mower. Last week, in desperation I called out to the multitudes to see if anyone would loan us a push mower. Lo and behold, our request was answered and we were loaned such a device by a friend. This evening, now that it has finally stopped raining, I think to myself, OK. I will mow the front lawn so that no one calls bylaw on us and it looks like someone actually lives in our house.
I wheel the mower out and down to the front. I give it a few pushes to make sure I'm going in the right direction and then off I go.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
Mower: Choppity-JAM.
Me: Shove.
Mower: Choppity-chop.
Me: Step.
I repeated this sequence to get to the other side of the lawn. Then I looked over the destruction I had left in my wake; Grass blades laid to waste. I had decimated the grass. I want to be clear that I am using this word in the biblical sense which is to say that in that first pass I managed to cut one blade in ten.
I continue for a half an hour, the amount of time it normally takes me to finish the entire thing. I've manage to cover less than half the front which is less than a quarter of the entire lawn. The part that I did do looks like my lawn has mange. It looks like a 2 year old's first self haircut.
I despair and grump inside to discover that the lights are off and no dinner was made.
As vengance against the vegetable kingdom, I have eaten an entire bag of carrots (this hurts me more than it hurts you).
