Gentle Readers,

as I mentioned on facebook, I had a truely terrible night's sleep last night. Now, sleep and I don't get along at the best of times, but last night really stands out. It started with waking after 3 hour sleep from a dream wherein I had lung cancer. Then after I manage to get back to sleep, I wake up on the half hour until cortejo's early alarm goes off. Manage to fall asleep again and then wake up because I'm having a lucid dream (which I realize because my hair is long).

The cancer dream was even more messed up than it sounds. I'm in a small town and I'm not the only person who has the cancer. The other person is a young woman who makes porn. She invites me to join her which I agree too once I get the requested condom. She is careful to mention that we need to turn our heads if we need to cough so no one sees the blood.

I do not anticipate today going well.
Gentle Readers,

One look at the time for this post should let you know that I've just woken up (and yes, I know that it's much more likely that some of you are only just considering going to bed). I just woke up from a wonderful dream and I would have just tried to go back to sleep, but at one point this weekend I was telling Kestra about Lydia talking her way through a dream early saturday morning (she narrated the whole thing for about an hour). Kestra said how wonderful it was that she got to hang on to her dreams and right now I'm thinking that this last dream is one I want to hang on to.

It was somewhere warm enough for it to be a green christmas and also warm enough for us to be out in our party cloths despite the misting rain which is just tingling on our skin. The weather makes the air feel just that much more electric as everyone is excited about going to the big dinner at the hall. I know with dream certainty that we are in Providence (but where that is, I have no idea) and that this is our 3rd christmas here. We are walking over to hall where everyone in town will be having a giant dinner celebration so everyone is out wearing their fancy clothes. There are lights and decorations everywhere that sparkle in the slight drizzle.

All of a sudden we are running to get there quickly, squealing with delight and excitement. We jump over candles and run past old houses covered with lights and around giant trees just sharing their gravitas. When we get there though, Lydia and I are not quite ready to go in so we go for a walk to see some more of the lights while everyone else goes inside. I remember wishing that every christmas could be like this.
Gentle Readers,

Birthday dream and year in review. )
Happy My Birthday to all of you.
Gentle Readers,

I just had the strangest dream. It started at a dinner party we were hosting where I met Michaela for the first time. She was disappointed that the weird aspic casserole we brought had cheddar cheese in it which she couldn't eat.

Then it segued to some TV watching which was apparently a strange bootleg muppet softcore (you know, the kind where they show breasts and nothing else) wherein there were all the regular pratfalls but Kermit was trying to seduce Miss Piggy and she was trying (with great difficulty) to resist. It was his amazing 8 pack that finally broke her resolve. I'm not sure why they made the kermit puppet with such a bony but.

From there we were disturbed by the nice Hispanic couple across the hall. The male half had come out into the hall to rattle something against the door of their apartment because they were fighting and it annoyed her. Then she came out and they seemed to resolve with each other but not happily. We talked a bit and Lydia and I hugged them and reassured them that we were there for them but I knew that they were breaking up and she was going back to her family.

Then came the really weird part. Yes, weirder than muppet soft core.

I had to go somewhere with Lydia after that so I was driving, through the streets of New York and mostly ignoring the traffic calming. We stopped and got out and there was this woman with short red hair and glasses. We made eye contact and it was like an electric shock of identification. "I know you" she said. "I know. We've met but i don't know where." said I.

We spent the next little while trying to figure out from where. Then I introduced myself and before she could respond I woke up. I know I've met this person before but I cannot for the life of me remember where her face came from.
Gentle Readers,

I'm sure I will learn at some point that cheese before bed is a bad plan. I think it might be like coffee and I shouldn't have it at any point in the evening (although I had some old stinky cheeses at the port party and I don't remember any weird dreams that night. maybe it's just cheep modern cheese, or maybe it's the lack of alcohol). Being yelled at by the person who is spooning you to "Stop Touching Me" was also a little surreal, even if it was just their dream and had nothing to do with you. It didn't help that many of the dreams were of the "Lying in bed when something annoying happens and you are not sure until you wake up that it was a dream or not". Even now, I'm still not sure about some of them.

Dream prĂ©cis cut because it's self indulgent crap )

What does it mean when it is easier to find peace and calmness with yourself when you are awake than asleep?
Gentle Readers,

Corbet posted the following questions in her livejournal and asked for answers.

What did you want to be when you grew up?

An astronaut/fireman/policeman/ninja. The uniform would be the most complicated part.

What have you always wanted to do that you haven't yet done?

Test cutting with a "real" sword, possibly on a carcass.

What have you done in your life that you are really proud of?

Managed to live an open and honest life where I'm not hiding anything about myself from the people who care about me.

If you knew you were going to die within a year, how would you spend that year?

Make sure that all of my affairs were in order and my family would be taken care of then spend as much time with them creating as many happy memories as possible.

What brings you the most fulfillment -- and how is that related to money?

Finishing things that I started and finishing them well. Only related to work in that if I don't finish the things I'm being paid to do, I don't get paid for much longer.

If you didn't have to work for a living, what would you do with your time?

Sew costumes for myself, practice various martial arts, fritter away my time on the internet.
Gentle Readers,

First I must curse my poor planning from this morning. I had hoped to go to the gym at lunch time but I forgot to bring a bike lock and so that's just not happening. I'm going to have to attach said lock to the bike itself instead of carrying it in a bag. Still, plan is foiled.

As for dreams, I had fairly vivid ones the last couple of days.

Yesterday I was woken up by my alarm in the middle of a dream where I was all upset that I had not gotten up in time for aikido. The alarm in question was, of course, to get me up in time for Aikido.

This morning, I had a dream that I was riding in a large car through Manhattan. In the front were My dad, a couple of other people I don't remember and Lydia. In the back was myself sandwitched between two lady fencers I know (although one of them I only know virtually). We were going for dinner at a restaurant that was in a mall built into a converted underground parking garage. At one point on the way down, I had to lift up a black fiberglass pig, advertising a deli bar, that had fallen from it's chains.

The restaurant was second from the bottom but we had to go down to the very bottom to find a space large enough to turn the car around. This space was some sort of meditation/yoga space. It was carpeted but the carpets had channels cut that led to the drains (in case of rain I guess). I'm not sure where we ended up parking.

I remember flirting with the two ladies and then I woke up.

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